Addressing the long lapse between blog posts would make sense if this had been created for something other than a class originally. Since it wasn't and I have exactly 2 people from China who have looked at this since 2011 (Hey guys!), I'm not going to and just going to dive in.
I would like to believe that we have the ability to be impartial. I would like to, but I am much too terrible at not crying at the end of A Walk To Remember to ever distance myself enough from a situation to make me impartial.
I set up my two best friends on campus at the beginning of the year. Why I thought this was a good idea is beyond me. But I was dumb (I was only 19 at the time, I can't be held responsible for my actions), and decided the idea of being able to enjoy time with both of them and getting them to have their first relationships with great people was a Win Win Win situation. At the beginning, my friend and sorority pledge mom (the lady in this relationship, let's call her… Cassie), was hesitant. She thought my friend (let's call him… Ralph) was perfect. Sweet, caring, the whole 9 yards, I thought I had won.
Slowly, she started complaining that Ralph wasn't romantic enough, not trying hard enough in the relationship. I listened, like any good Little would, knowing I could never tell Ralph. A few complaints here and there never hurt a relationship, so I moved past it.
A month later, Cassie put a timetable on the relationship. It was not to last past graduation. She was having more issues with Ralph, he wasn't driven enough for her, he wasn't outgoing enough. In the 2 years I have known Ralph, he had never gone out more than this year. He was social and it was a crazy turn around. This, however, wasn't enough for Cassie, but she wasn't going to tell Ralph anything about it.
Confrontation is scary for some.
I had to keep more and more from Ralph. Car rides home, balcony sits, Mario Party nights, were all now that much more stressful.
I had to pretend the relationship he thought was perfect, was falling apart right under his nose.
Cassie finally put the axe to the relationship after Ralph's fraternity formal (excellent timing…). He was blindsided. He was hurt worse than I've ever seen someone. She had spent 15 minutes with him and left, he still doesn't understand why. And here we are. 4 days later, and I'm confused. Cassie says she's heartbroken, that she is having just as hard of a time as Ralph, but I can't feel for her.
Not a single shred of empathy.
So I guess I wrote this because I have one question. Just one thing on my mind.
Am I a bad person?
I don't think I want an answer, I just want to send this cosmic question out into the black hole that is the internet, hoping it makes things... different.
